My Time With Horse
Lion's Gate 2019 was so very powerful for me. So many things coming together, intense energy shifts, awakenings, the ability to let go of things and relationships with ease and yet another upgrade of my psychic abilities. As with many of my awakenings, I was on my way to my healer's house for a group session and I had become very emotional. During the session, I could not keep it together, heaving crying at times. My father, who had passed in 2015 and is now one of my guides was making himself very known to me. His presence is otherworldly. I have not found the words yet that properly describe what his presence is like, but I could feel him touching me. It was like the deepest love, only that love was riddled with guilt and shame and it was way too much to bare. I couldn't keep it together. The next day, I did a guided meditation for Lion's Gate by Nadine Dassier and I kept seeing Horse.
The following day was much harder as I had to address some of my own downfalls and why I attract some of the things and people that I do. Taking responsibility for my behavior and how that ties into my relationship with my father and why he had been so protective recently which is something he was not in life. How grieving changes as the years go on is something to behold. Especially when that relationship was particularly strained. There is always more work to do.
After work that day, I went to go see my healer again, Nadine. I knew that it was going to be intense but I was not ready for what actually went down. A past life came up with my father and it was really traumatic. We were Hopi Natives and my father was a chief. In the life time, I protected him, as many people wanted to kill him. He started drinking with the white man and became very terrible. He gave me to the white man and in his words, " He fed me to the wolves." So now 2 lifetimes where he betrayed me and that trauma has affected everything that I am. Working through that trauma has brought me here. During the session, Nadine kept seeing Horse. Horse is freedom. Freedom in that past lifetime. Then she looked down at me and we realized that I was wearing my Horse Dress.
A few days later, I had gone to do a house cleansing and blessing for my friend, Jess. And a reiki session. I "Shook out her chakras," as she would say. That week she had painted a beautiful Horse painting, using a stick of palo santo that I had given her. When I saw her picture, I freaked out. It was a replication of a painting that she loved. Later that day, another friend of mine revealed she was also working with Horse and I was just beside myself. To see the extension of the sacred work that I do working in my life and in those around me. And so I have begun to really work on not doubting the universe and myself. I began letting the "Universe Wow me," as Phil Good Life would say. Which is so much work in itself that ties in so heavily to all of the intense soul work I was doing over Lion's Gate and continue to do everyday.
Reminding me that I am meant to do this work. And as I heal myself, I heal those around me. One thing that Frannie Dassier said to me once that has never left me, "you will attract those who are working through similar things." She said it way better than that, but that was the gist of it.
I have been working with Medicine Cards deck everyday by Jamie Sams & David Carson. And this is from that deck.
"Stealing Horse is stealing power" was a statement made frequently in historical Native American cultures.
Horse is physical power and unearthly power. In shamanic practices throughout the world, Horse enables shamans to fly through the air and reach heaven.
Dreamwalker, a medicine man, was walking across the plains to visit the Arapaho Nation. He carried with him his pipe. The feather tied into his long black hair pointed to the ground, marking him as a man of peace. Over the rise of the hill, Dreamwalker saw a herd of wild mustangs running towards him.
Black Stallion approached him and asked if he was seeking an answer on his journey. Black Stallion said, "I am the Void where Answer lives. Ride on my back and know the power of entering the darkness and finding Light."
Dreamwalker thanked Black Stallion and agreed to visit him when his medicine was needed in the Dreamtime.
Yellow Stallion approached Dreamwalker next and offered to take him to the East, where illumination lives. Dreamwalker could share the answers he found there to teach and illuminate others. Once again, Dreamwalker thanked Yellow Stallion and said he would use these gifts of power on his journey.
Red Stallion approached, rearing playfully. He told Dreamwalker of the joys of balancing work and heavy medicine with the joyful experiences of play. He reminded Dreamwalker that he could better hold the attention of those he taught when humor was integrated with the lesson. Dreamwalker thanked him and promised to remember the gift of joy.
Dreamwalker was nearing his destination. The Arapaho Nation was close at hand. White Stallion came to the front of the herd. Dreamwalker mounted White Stallion's back. White Stallion was the message carrier for all the other horses, and represented wisdom in power. This magnificant Horse was the embodiment of the balanced medicine shield. "No abuse of power will ever lead you to wisdom," said White Stallion. "You, Dreamwalker, have made this journey to heal a brother in need, to share the sacred pipe, and to heal the Mother Earth. You have the knowledge through humility that you are an instrument of Great Spirit. As I carry you upon my back, you carry the needs of the people on yours. In wisdom, you understand that power is not given lightly but awarded to those who are willing to carry responsibility in a balanced manner."
Dreamwalker, the shaman, had been healed by the visit of the wild horses, and knew that his purpose in coming to the Arapaho was to share these gifts with them.
In understanding the power of Horse, you may see how to strive for a balanced medicine shield. True power is wisdom found in remembering your total journey. Wisdom comes from remembering pathways you have walked in another person's moccasins. Compassion, caring, teaching, loving, and sharing your gifts, talents, and abilities are the gateways to power."