The spirits of the land out in western South Dakota are very cautious. I picked up on a few here and there, a man who was protecting, a group of women who were caring for children long gone.
This was not what I was interested in. I came for a profound experience. Not something that I can get from walking into any shop in any town anywhere.
I had a hard time making contact. It was perplexing and so I sat on the ground, asked my guides to come in and help me begin removing any blockages I had that were preventing me from deeply connecting.
I'm so use to that instant connection, instant gratification. Being able to connect through space and time into any place, any time, any dimension, with any eye I choose, so I was confused.
I released and let go. And again and again.
The first message that came through, big and bold was, "what is your service?"
"I'm a teacher," I said to Spirit.
You want to connect and why should you be allowed?
Deeply humbled, I bowed.
"I'm here for communion. I'm here to learn. I'm here for healing. I'm here to become a better teacher," I cried as the tears began rolling down my cheeks.
"What do you teach? What do you give back?" asked Spirit.
At this moment, my bones felt like mush, my blood thickening and beginning to coagulate. Imposter syndrome set in as I began to shake and heaving with terror and grief.
"I know what I think I teach. I push boundaries. For humans and Spirit." But in that moment it didn't matter anymore.
"You can't teach what you have not learned fully. Today your lesson is of a deeper understanding of your experiences. The lessons of abandonment and betrayal. Like the people, animals and Spirit who use to call these lands home."
"You will not connect as you wish without a deeper understanding. An understanding of what it means to be completely abandoned and betrayed. You had to have those experiences to truly be able to teach and be of service. You know your soul purpose is not as important as you think. What is your soul service? That is what is important."
I walked with Spirit the rest of the day. Quiet. Humbled. Listening. Learning. Vowing to begin everyday with a beginners mind and an open heart.
Every moment is an experience. Every moment is precious.
All photos by Andrew Dorothy except the selfie.
His email is firstname.lastname@example.org